‘Leven Limericks

There was a jewel-loving lady,

Known as Lady Bell Brady,

She wore stones of renown,

And golden crowns,

But rarely did act like a lady.

A miller milled grain with his feet,

Stomped until he was beat,

He walked into town,

Feet stained brown,

But his steps were always quite sweet.

A buck searched near and far,

For a field where all does are,

He used his nose,

Knew he was close,

Never saw the lights of the car.

A bear who ate honey from a pot,

Couldn’t keep track of a thought,

Needed a shirt that was bigger,

A friend of Tigger,

Plush, small, and round was his lot.

There was a street match boxer,

He tried his hand at soccer,

Had fast and light feet,

Went back to the street,

Gloves, not cleats, in his locker.

The hare went out on a mission,

Carrots and greens were his vision,

Found gardens of good will,

Ate past his fill,

A slow hop draws predators’ attention.

A farmer from way up in Dover,

Let his cows graze on sweet clover,

They walked in a haze,

For a few days,

Bloated and falling all over.

There was a dispute over land,

Two Combatants with hounds at command,

First struck the shepherd,

Quick like a leopard,

No chance the papillon did stand.

The comrade did love his black sable,

His mom said, “Remove at the table,”

She poured him meager gruel,

Called him a fool,

For trusting Marx’s immoral fable.

The lawyer loved a great whiskey,

Three and his speech was quite lispy,

He loved singing songs,

Speech always wrong,

“Your Honor my clienth ith guilthy!”

There was a poet without paper,

His words the crowds did savor,

Some jeered and some cheered,

He always feared,

His words would be as the vapor.